“…maybe CIF wasn’t meant to be.”

Excuse me? What did you say?

“I said, ‘…maybe CIF wasn’t meant to be.’”



Now that struck a nerve. After working hard for an entire season, someone dare tell me that I was undeserving.

I found that quote extremely offensive. Not only was that condescending and rude, it was disrespectful to other people trying to achieve the same goal. The winner didn’t cheat, nor was his victory a fluke. It undermines the concept of perseverance. It's the ultimate slap on the face for anybody that has the decency to care about themselves. I hold myself to such high standards because then I expect the best I can perform, and in the end that's what matters.


Then what is the point of working hard?
If a higher deity controls what will happen to me, then why am I even trying?
By that assumption, I can sit around every day and still increase my speed and agility.
By that assumption, I can earn an A without reading about a single topic about the course.

And it is absolutely certain, it is impossible.

The result is important, but it is not as important as the "journey".


More to come.

College: A Test of Wills.

The inaugural welcome week has finally succumbed and class will officially begin in a few hours. It's been an amazing week. While the classes aren't demanding on a daily basis, it will be no excuse to slack off. Some people are studying hard since the first day of classes, and others are thrilling their lives away at block parties and ill-advised drinking. As for myself, I don't know where I fit in right now. I am extremely torn. I have this undying dream, this relentless thirst of controlled anger running full blast like an air conditioner. But I am not sure how or where to exert my energy and pride. Not outlandish ethnicity pride. Not religious pride. Not egotistical pride. Not idiotic drunk pride. It is called competitive pride. I always wanted to do something that will change the world and serve justice.

But that childhood wish is slowing being consumed by the "real" world and social structure of Isla Vista. Drinking will always be a staple in our world. Random sex is casual. Illicit drugs will never be "banned". Testing Budweiser and Malibu Rum mixed with Pepsi was great, and it brought a sense of relieve when alcohol is streaming through your body.

By Tuesday, I will figure it out.

Excuses...

Yesterday, I was bored out of my mind at 10pm. Hence, I started to juxtapose my best 100 meter against my last 100m race. Granted that your best race of a season should be the last one of the season, I don’t know what happened. There were too many flaws and mistakes in that race. My head was tilted backwards, which caused my legs to not lift as efficient. It could’ve been better, but it wasn’t. But no make mistake, my errors should not detract the other competitors’ production nor will it be an excuse for my 3rd place finish.

After I posted it, I received some messages from a few people, asking me why I would post a losing race. Truthfully, I see no shame in losing to better athletes if you give it your best. To me, it’s saying, “You’re better than me, but I’m coming after you.” Plus, why should I hold any hostility against other runners? Their performance is strictly their performance. Their training has zero bearing on me and my running skills. This is why this sport fits me perfectly. I account for our success and failures. We work together as a team by bringing our own abilities and talents and utilizing it as best we could as a group. The only time I would even yell at someone is if he/she interferes with my work, which I have done to numerous people in multiple instances.

Yes, there will always be some type of disappointment for taking bronze at any event. But there are some people that will be happy to take 3rd place.

We wonder: “Maybe if I gave it a little more here or a bit more effort at practice, then I could’ve beaten him.”

Update: Right now I am breaking down my body and its muscle development and reconstructing it to a more strength and agile build. Part of what is missing from my training has been overall strength and strength endurance.

yea, maybe.

“Don’t let yesterday’s disappointments lead to today’s failures.”